A Brief Moment of Pause

Exhibits A, B, and C from Breakfast This Morning

Yeah, that deal that Bailey struck with Eva? Here it is in action:

*sniff, sniff, sniff*

Please???

BACON!!!!!

The Animals in Our Life (Part 2)

So you heard about the puma, now for the other large fur ball in our life. He's a Norwegian Elkhound/German Shepherd mix named Bailey. He is without a doubt the most spastic animal we've ever met, which only intensified once I got pregnant with Eva. He's a bit.....overzealous when it comes to protecting his turf. If someone dares to so much as walk past our house when the husband isn't home, the entire neighborhood will know about it. Same goes for delivery trucks. Mercifully, the UPS guy almost never knocks on the door anymore. (This happens relatively often since I almost exclusively shop for clothes online. I HATE the mall, as I believe it represents one of the outer circles of hell.)

Anywho, Bailey.....he was the very first addition to our family. My husband (fiance at the time) brought him home about halfway through our junior year of college and 8 1/2 years later he still acts like a puppy. I can't imagine him acting like an older animal. He loves to play and nothing makes him happier than when we return home from an outing.

He loves Eva, I know he does. Up until recently he didn't really know what to make of her. He does however, guard her door during the day while she naps. We're gradually allowing them to become better acquainted with each other. They want to play with each other so badly, but they just don't know how yet. Bailey, the herding dog that he is, wants to keep her corralled in her proper place- the living room. Eva, not one to be contained, doesn't exactly appreciate his efforts. She also doesn't quite understand the concept behind "catch" and how throwing the ball for Bailey does not mean throwing the ball AT Bailey. I'm pretty sure though, that they've reached an agreement as to where her unwanted food at meal time is to end up. He repays her with kisses that have become less and less frightening for her.

I do have a feeling that once Eva's a little bit older and understands how to handle "Bae", that they'll be nearly inseparable. I already have visions of him sleeping in her room at night, making sure she's safe and sound.

Can I come in and play?

Bailey sporting his Super Bowl gear.

The Animals in Our Life

So, I had to come up with a new post, and like quick. The longer I look at that bathtub scene, the more disturbing it becomes.

In addition to the 3 of us humans in our little family, we also have a dog and a cat that call this place home. The dog is beyond spastic and we still don't really trust him around Eva, so they have limited contact with each other. Then there's the cat. Once upon a time when I worked at my old job, a cat was left in a carrier on the loading dock of our building. No one in any of the neighboring businesses claimed him when questioned, and it seemed he was headed to the animal shelter.....only I couldn't let him go to the animal shelter. This is a mistake I will never make again. I'm pretty sure I know why he was left on the loading dock. I have never in my life met a cat that was this loud before. If he's not happy about something he wanders the house seemingly yelling "Hello?! Hello?! Hello?!". He loves to cuddle, which is nice, except that he will not take no for an answer. Apparently he deals well with rejection, or not. He will absolutely keep trying until he wears you down, and before you know what happened you have 20 lbs. of fur in your lap. Yes, he's THAT big, hence his nickname, "the puma". I've never met a cat like him before, and admittedly, he's not my favorite of all the pets I've ever had. So, why do we keep him around? Because of this.....

Eva loooooves Smokey. Loves him. She plays with him, she hugs him, she even tries to feed him when she has her tea parties. And for his part.....he tolerates her and never ever retaliates. And that is why he gets to stay.

It's Bathtub Paint, I SWEAR!

Aaron: WOW. That paint looks really.....um......RED.

Me: Yeah, it does. Kinda like Elmo met a very violent and unfortunate end.

*uncontrollable laughter from us both*

Ok, maybe not SO unfortunate because I'm not a big Elmo fan these days. I liked him when I was little, but now I just find him annoying. I much prefer Grover now that I'm all grown up. And as you all now know, I've also developed a somewhat sick sense of humor.

I learned my lesson the other day and Eva's art project du jour was contained to the bathtub. She's been playing around with the blue paint for about the past week and wanted to change it up tonight. I think that the next time we break out the red paint that either the blue or yellow will be joining it. It was a little bit too disturbing to see our bathtub looking like a scene out of a slasher flick.

Tons of Toys and All She Wants is the Box

They say that the simplest toys are the best, and apparently "they" are right. This kid has toys like you would not believe. You can see the kitchen, the bounce and spin pony, the doll house, and the overflowing toy box in the background. There's even an easel stashed in the corner, almost out of sight. What you can't see in the picture are her tricycle and the dozen or so stuffed penguins laying around (gee, I can't imagine why we'd have penguins all over the house.....). Toys galore, and what has she been obsessed with for the past 24 hours? A big box. Should be interesting to see how long we can keep this going. I guess it's a good thing that after 2 years we finally decided to put a car seat in Aaron's car.....oh, how I've missed my beloved G.

P.S. Yes, because life seems to enjoy kicking me in the rear, that is in fact a Disney princess chair that you see in this picture. And it begins.......God help me.

"Yuv you!"

Today was a monumental day for me as a mother. Eva has said "I love you." before, always in response to either me or her father. But today was different. As I was cleaning her up from lunch she looked up at me and said, "I love you, Mommy." Actually, since she hasn't yet mastered the "L" sound, it was a little more like "I yuv you, Mommy.", which might be even more adorable. There's nothing that compares to moments like that. And suddenly all is right with the world again.

It's a Good Thing This Stuff is Washable.....

As I tried to fend of the boredom that came with an entire day in the house due to the heat outside, I did something I'd been putting off for months. I pulled out the Crayola beginnings paints that Eva had gotten for her birthday, found some construction paper, and let her go to town. Considering that these paints are basically markers with a brush tip, it's incredible how the paint gets everywhere. And I do mean EVERYWHERE. I didn't bother to put down any newspaper anywhere or put some sort of smock on my child. Why should I? It's washable. Go ahead, take a minute. I'll wait. Ok......you can stop laughing now. Yes, I realize that I'm still a rookie at this parenting thing. There was paint on the table of course, mostly because it had soaked through the paper. It was also on the seat of the chair, the back of the chair, on the carpet, on her face, in her hair, and up her nose. Soooo glad they figured out how to make washable paint...and markers.....and crayons......

I Could Use a Few More Days Like Today

Today we decided to take advantage of the nice weather and venture out. It turned out to be a big day, at least on our current scale. We went out to Cacapon State Park, where Eva went to the beach for the first time. It was a beach on a man-made lake, but a beach none the less. Oh, did she love it. Its been a long time since I've seen her so content for so long. She spent a good 2 hours alternating between "swimming" and playing in the sand at the edge of the water.

Next up was her first hike through the woods. You don't realize how much noise you tune out every day until you're in the middle of nowhere and it's completely silent. I think my husband and I had both forgotten what quiet sounds like. It was glorious. Of course, it got a lot less quiet once we arrived and the incessant "What's that?!"'s started. Oh well. Better that than for her to not be curious at all.

The silver lining to the past couple of tough weeks that we've had around here is that it makes days like today seem so much more rewarding.

Oh, Thank God!

So after having such a horrid day yesterday that capped off a less than stellar couple of weeks, we finally had a good day today!!!! It was beyond good, actually. Eva was very nearly perfect today. She ate her food without protest AND none of it went airborne, she listened to me, and even helped me around the house. Granted, she never fell asleep for her nap, but she was relatively quiet in there for 2 1/2 hours with no screaming. I'll take it. We all needed a day like today, my husband included. Let's hope the rest of the weekend goes as well!

Eva, chill-axin in Mommy and Daddy's Bed. Wonder how Daddy feels about Bailey's squeaky toy bunny resting on his pillow? On a side note, I'm glad our dog is willing to share his toys with Eva. At least the slobber had dried by this point.....

It Was One of Thoooooose Days

At the risk of sounding like Janice on "Friends", Oh. My. God. I've had several people tell me that 3 is worse than 2. I realize that this sounds naive, but I honestly don't see how that would be possible with my daughter. The past couple of weeks have been bad. Really bad. Today was downright harrowing. I started out by listing all of the meltdowns, but it was turning out to be a reeeeeeally long post. The condensed version- there was the attempted jump out of the cart at target, a full bag of goldfish (crackers) and a sippy cup being launched in the car, refusal to eat what she was served (and by refusal, I mean screaming while throwing things), bouncing at the TOP of the slide at the inflatables place she used to love, and 40 minutes of uninterrupted screaming before she finally fell asleep for her nap, which was followed by more screaming when she was woken up by a car horn 30 minutes later. It was a day. With a lot of screaming. I can only hope that tomorrow is better.

Note to self: you need to vacuum out the car tomorrow.

It's Kinda Like Being Punched in the Gut. Repeatedly.

So it's been over a week since my last post and I've been trying to come up with something cute and funny to write about, except that I'm just not in a cute and funny place right now. I'd try to just fake it, but I'm really not all that great an actress. My husband and I have been struggling with the issue of whether or not to have more children. That may be an understatement. Logically, we know that we shouldn't because of my HG. The risks are just too high. The risks to me, the baby, and while rather small, the risk to Eva of losing her mother. I came away from my pregnancy with her with a heart murmur and there's risk of more damage if I do it again. There are also risks for liver and brain damage. My brain needs all the TLC it can get, believe me. Extreme dehydration and malnutrition generally don't wear well on babies either. We were very lucky to have a healthy child the first time, but that doesn't guarantee the same outcome for the second time around. I'd have more aggressive treatment in any future pregnancies- at the very least a PICC line and IV's that would most likely be on a daily basis. There's also the possibility of hospital time and a feeding tube. The logistics of that would be tough though without any family around to help take care of our daughter. And did I mention that it would be surgery #7 for me when I'd have another C-section?

So why am I so conflicted? Because I offered all of our old baby gear to my sister, who is due in October, and while sifting through the baby clothes I was willing to part with, it was like being punched in the gut. I've said before that I was good with just one. Eva's a handful, and either way another baby isn't something we're looking to add to the fam at the moment. And I honestly don't know if I could ever be brave enough to actually try to get pregnant again. I guess I just figured that we'd be "surprised" one day with another baby. As difficult as life can be with a newborn, it's also such a special and wonderful time. Actually taking that option off the table permanently is proving to be a much more difficult decision that I imagined. Looking at pictures like these from when Eva was first born isn't making the decision any easier......

UPDATE: Since I wrote this post, we came to the conclusion (with a little help from our friends) that we weren't ready to officially make this decision yet. Spending 2 weeks being completely devastated and crying all the time seems to have been a sign. We may or may not change our minds, but we've decided to give it another year and see what happens and how we feel at that point before making our decision permanent.