For This I Am Grateful

• That the 1st full week of our fall schedule with school and soccer went so well.  It was busy, but went pretty smoothly.  Win!
• That soccer program that Eva's enrolled in has been revamped and is very much improved from last fall.  The coaches went through training this time on how to deal with the little kids, and it shows.  She has a new coach who is fantastic with the kids.  Eva had a blast this week and so did the other kids in her class.  I predict that this session will be much better than the last one.
• That my grandmother will be coming home from the hospital tomorrow.  She's still struggling and not yet where everyone thought she would be in her recovery at this point.  If you're the praying kind, she could use a few.
• That I've made some very dear friends at the gym.  This isn't a recent development, but it's most definitely worth mentioning.  Each is unique, genuine, and supportive.  I got to see each of them today- one for coffee, and the second at a class that was being taught by the third!  Surrounding yourself with good people will make for a good day- and a good life.
• That tomorrow I will be attending the Ebensburg Potato Festival.  It's become a tradition for me and my sister.  Pierogies and funnel cake.  Need I say more?  (And yes, I realize that funnel cake is not potato-related, but if there's funnel cake, I'm eating it.)  I've been extra good with my diet this week in preparation.  Cannot wait.  
• That the weather forecast for tomorrow is better than it was for last year's events.  It should be a much more enjoyable time than we had last year in this.

Goal!

It's Fall, But I'm Turning Over A New Leaf (Or At Least I'm Trying To)

Today was one of those days that started well.  I started in on reorganizing our pantry before we had to run off to the gym.  After my class I even tested out my knees by running a mile on the treadmill.  So far so good on that front.  A little lunch, a few errands, and it was time for someone's nap.

And that's when it starting going downhill.  She got a little bit of a nap on Monday, but it wasn't a good one and she didn't fall asleep until 2 hours after her designated nap time.  Yesterday, nothing.  Today?  That's right, no nap today either.  It's not that she doesn't need one.  By 2:00 she is way past the point of needing some sleep, it's just that she seems to be so keyed up that she can't settle down.  You can imagine what this can do to our evenings.  Not that she's been completely horrible, but I have found myself willing bedtime to roll around a little faster several times.

At one point this afternoon as I was writing an email, I suddenly noticed that I hadn't heard anything from Eva's room for 10 minutes.  Yes!  Could she finally be asleep?!  Just as I was getting my hopes up, the thunder started.....rather loudly, I might add.  I heard her start rustling again and knew that it was all over.  Right at about that same time, our neurotic dog started freaking out.  He's not a big fan of thunderstorms and he took his angst out on our dining room carpet.

Something positive came out of all of this, though.  I noticed that I reacted to it differently than I would have in the past.  I didn't get mad.  I didn't get overly frustrated.  There may have been a little bit of whimpering on my part, but I didn't need to call the hubby at work to vent.  It was what it was.  It didn't mean that the entire day was a failure.  It just meant that I had a few more things put on my to-do list.

I don't know if it's that I'm finally on a set schedule or if it's just that we came away from last week relatively unscathed, but I feel like I've turned a corner.  After a crazy couple of months (years, actually), I finally feel like myself again.  I have the energy to get a few things done in a day and the patience to deal with it when things don't go exactly according to plan.  I've been on a mission to organize the house, and for once my cleaning binges aren't anxiety-driven.

I realize that life is constantly changing and something could happen at any time and derail me once again, but I'm hoping that this lasts for a little while.  (And that my new found coping skills stick around too.)

This is the version of me that I want Eva to know and remember.  I don't want her to see any flaw or set-back as the end of the world.  I don't want her to learn to freak out about every little thing.  I want her to recognize challenges, meet them, and move on.  I want her to learn this from me because she's seen me model it- not because she's watched me constantly freak out and resolved not to be anything like her mother.

So, the next time I'm having a really bad day and freaking out, you guys are going to remind me about this, right?  Right?!  Thanks.

P.S.  In case you were wondering (and I'm SURE you were), the carpets in the living and dining rooms were shampooed this evening (thanks so much to Bailey's accident)......after dusting and vacuuming both rooms.  So, a good portion of the house cleaning that was on my agenda for tomorrow got done a little early.  At this rate, I might even have time to sit for a few minutes and catch my breath by the end of the week.  (You can go ahead and laugh at that now.)

Maybe she would nap if she could borrow her cousin's Ellie.

The Day She Ate A Vegetable

When Eva was first introduced to real food at 4 months, she ate whatever I fed her.  Cereal?  Great.  Fruit? Awesome!  Vegetables?  Bring 'em.  But then when it was time to try the real, solid, non-pureed stuff?  Hold the phones.  She suddenly had the most refined of pallets that only allowed for a few foods into the mix.

It's been a struggle ever since to get her to eat a decent meal.  The kid would live on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches if we let her.  She'll eat yogurt and cheese, and fortunately she hasn't met a fruit yet that she didn't like.  We did manage to work some lunch meat into the mix over the past couple of months, so I'm glad that we've found a half-way decent protein source for her.

For the longest time, the only vegetable she'd eat was the pureed form of green beans.  I still feed them to her because I'm desperate to get some sort of vegetable into her.  Over the summer she added carrots and cucumbers to the short list of acceptable veggies.

And then today, something remarkable happened.  As I was eating a green pepper with my lunch, she asked to try a bite of it.  I was skeptical at first and expected that she'd just spit it out.....and I was wrong.  She loved it!  She happily ate bite after bite, gobbling it down.

I told her over and over how happy I was that she liked it and that it was good for her and would help her grow up big and strong.  Getting her to broaden her dietary horizons feels like a major accomplishment worthy of celebration.

Her eating habits up to this point have had me a bit nervous.  Aside from that whole thing where she won't eat what we eat for dinner (Hi.  This is not a diner.), we're rather choosy about our food.  At the beginning of the summer we altered our diet to boost our fruit and vegetable intake and cut way back on carbs.  We eat as much organic food as we can get and only consume organic, grass-fed beef and milk.  I can't begin to tell you how much better I feel when I stick to this diet.

I know that she's still very little and that it just takes time for them to develop a more sophisticated pallet. I know that I just need to be patient and keep offering her good choices......over.....and over....and over again.  It's a slow process, but days like today help me to hold out hope that one day we'll have another very healthy eater under our roof one day.

It was such a monumental event that I had to get a picture.  Notice also the evidence of PB&J.  One step at a time......

Finding My Comfort Zone

Today marked the beginning of our first full week of our fall routine.  I'm a big fan of routines and schedules, so this makes me happy.  I feel like we're finally finding our groove after weeks and weeks of random events in our lives.  I like to have a certain amount of predictability in my life, so settling into this routine brings me a nice little amount of comfort.

A temporary refusal to nap aside, the day went very well.  It's apparent that the days when Eva has school are going to be hectic.  The great thing though, is how productive I've been on those days so far.  As much as I miss having her with me all the time, it's unreal how much I can get accomplished around the house when I don't have someone running around behind me, undoing everything that I've just done.  I forgot what it was like to be so productive.  It's pretty amazing.

While I was running around a la "Flight of the Bumblebee", Eva had another fun day at school.  I'm not at all surprised that she loves it so much- everything about preschool is right up her alley.  Still, I was glad to see that she hadn't lost any enthusiasm for it over the past week.  I got to hear it too- as she sang "We're going to schoo-ool!  We're going to schoo-ool!" the whole way there.

Tomorrow looks to be another crazy, busy day, but it's a day with a plan.  We all know how much I love a plan.

For This I Am Grateful (1st Edition)

At the beginning of savasana in a yogalates class I used to take, our instructor (who has become a friend of mine) would read passages from a book entitled "For This I Am Grateful."  It's a random collection of things that people said they were grateful for when surveyed, and it set the tone for our meditation.  This past week and its events have inspired me to start a weekly series called "For This I Am Grateful Friday."

This week had a lot riding on it and there was a lot of potential for things to go horribly wrong.  As emotional and a tad bit difficult as it was to see Eva start preschool, it wasn't the thing weighing most on my mind.  Sure, it's tough to get hit over the head with those reminders that you're baby's growing up, but I knew she was in good hands and that barring an accident of some sort she'd be fine.  I was much more worried about my dad receiving his diagnosis after his most recent biopsy and the really big event- my grandmother having her aortic valve replaced.

If I've learned anything in the past several months it's that when facing a week like this, you just have to hunker down, take a few deep breaths, and hold on for dear life.  I hoped for the best, but prepared for the worst.  It had been 6 weeks of no sort of treatment between biopsies for my dad, and his cancer was at Stage III as of the last one.  My grandmother is one of the strongest people I've ever met (on several levels), but that doesn't change the fact that she turns 94 next month.  I knew what all the possibilities were and I braced myself for them.

Somehow, some way, all 3 hurdles for the week were cleared.  I am amazed, thankful, and humbled.

So without further ado, here are just a few of the things I am grateful for today:

• That my grandmother survived her valve replacement and is doing remarkably well.  They made her stay in the CICU overnight, and I couldn't believe how talkative she was when I finally got to go back and see her.  She is now in her telemetry room and they expect her to be out and on her way back to PA in a couple of days.  Incredible.
• The wonderful staff at Washington Hospital Center.  I can't say enough for these people.  Everyone we came across from the doctors to support staff was more than happy to assist us and answer our questions.  My grandmother has clearly been in excellent hands and I couldn't ask for more.
• A hotel within the hospital.  I had never heard of such a thing before and the convenience made things much easier than they would have been otherwise.
• An amazing husband who not only took the day off to stay at home with Eva, allowing me to be at the hospital for the procedure, but he also chauffeured me and my sister to the hospital and back.  We live 30 miles away, and because of traffic it was a 2 to 2 1/2 hour drive each way.  Into and out of DC.  Two evenings in a row.  If you've never driven in DC, well.....it's hell.  As much as I hate to fly, I think it would totally be worth it to fly from Dulles to National.  I wish I was kidding.
• My dad's cancer is only at Stage I.  It's not an "all clear", but it's certainly treatable and not remotely what I had prepared myself for.  Considering the lack of treatment for 6 weeks, I'll call it a win.
• The prayers, support, and well-wishes of so many people.  Not only did I have the automatic support of my husband and real life friends, but also that of a number of people of Twitter.  Some were people that I talk to on a regular basis, if not everyday.  Some were people I had never talked to before at all.  When I finally got to see my grandmother after her procedure I told her about this.  She was blown away by it too.  Behold the power of social media.
• A great start to school for Eva.
• The lady at Whole Foods who insisted that I go ahead of her in line when she saw that I had a toddler and just a few items in my basket.
• Fall is here!  It looked and smelled like fall outside today.  It's by far my favorite time of year.

There are many more to add to the list, but I'll save those for later.  I should go to bed now.  It's been a long week.

Looking down on her kingdom before naptime.

2nd Day of Preschool (AKA The 1st REAL Day of Preschool)

I did it.  I got Eva to her classroom and all set up and made it to the car before I did any crying.  Even then, I wasn't as bad as I thought I'd be.  I think I got most of it out yesterday.  It also helped that Eva wasn't at all upset.  She saw that there was playdoh out on the table and she was immediately in the zone.  I even had to ask for my goodbye hug.  She was content and secure, which made it much easier for me to leave and not worry about how she was doing.

Another thing that's made this transition much easier than it would otherwise be is having a mutual friend with the teacher.  This friend of mine put her kids through the same school with the same teacher and is now friends with her.  I trust her judgement, and it really does help to have so much confidence in the teacher and the school from the beginning.  The teacher could tell that I was struggling yesterday and has been so sweet.  She even emailed us this evening with a picture of Eva playing and having fun at school today.  How thoughtful is that?  Love her.

The super great thing is that Eva had a blast today AND the teacher's assistant told me that she listened very well.  Woohooo!  She played on the playground, played dress-up, listened to stories, and sang songs.  When I picked her up she was animated, and excited, and told me all about it on our way home.  She absolutely can't wait to go back next week.  I'm so happy that she loved it and can't wait to observe her journey through the school year.

1st Day of Preschool

Last night I made sure that the last of the forms had been signed, selected and ironed our outfits, and once a certain someone was in bed, made that half-ton of playdoh for her class.  Incidentally, the making of the playdoh was a much messier process than I anticipated.  I feared total and complete disaster when it came out very, very sticky.  Turned out, all it needed was to cool completely and it was just fine.  Whew!

By some miracle everything went smoothly this morning and we were ready to go with time to spare, even after taking pictures.  Eva was sooo excited about her 1st day of school.  I'm not sure that she knew what to expect, even though we had talked about what all would happen over and over again.

Overall I think it went well.  Her teacher and the teacher's assistant are very good with the kids and I have full confidence in their abilities to teach and keep up with the children.  Eva seemed to get along well with most of the kids in her class, especially the other girls.  There was a scavenger hunt, an art project, a song, some free play time, and 2 books were read.

Like I said, Eva did well.  I, on the other hand, could barely keep myself together.  For the love....  I was there WITH her and I was struggling.  It was half a day at preschool.  It's not like I was dropping her off at college.  These are the times when I really annoy the hell out of myself.  Granted, there's a lot of other stuff going on around me right now to contribute to this state, but still.  I wanted to smack myself and yell at myself to pull it together.  Geez.  This does not bode well for tomorrow.

Tomorrow is her 1st "real" day.  It's the first day that I'll walk her to her classroom, hang up her backpack, put away her coat and lunchbox, seat her at the table, and then walk out of the room and leave her there for 3 hours.  A whole 3 hours, twice a week.  (I'm pathetic, I KNOW.)  We've talked with her about what will happen tomorrow.  If I told her once, I told her at least 10 times how it will work.  We'll get up in the morning and get ready and eat our breakfast.  Then I will take her to school, walk her to her room, get her set up, and then I'm going to leave for a little while so that she can learn and have fun with her class.  Then, when it's time to go home, her teacher will bring her out to my car and we'll go home.  I'm not sure that she understands it, but I keep repeating it anyway.

I hope that tomorrow goes well.  I hope that Eva adjusts quickly to being part of a class and listening to her teacher.  I hope that she doesn't give anyone any sort of attitude.  I hope that she doesn't have any accidents of any kind.  I hope that she isn't upset when I leave.  I hope that I manage not to cry when I leave- at least not until I get to the car.  Most of all, I hope she loves it and has a great time.

Wish us luck.

So Big, But Still So Little

It's amazing how quickly kids grow up.  You hear people talk about it all the time, but when you have a screaming newborn with reflux or a precocious toddler, sometimes it can feel like time is standing still.  And then, all of a sudden, BAM!  Your baby isn't a baby anymore.

It's amazing how independent Eva has become in the past couple of months.  She wants to do everything she can for herself.  There have been so many times that I've wanted to help her to hurry a process along, only to hear, "No! I want to do it myself!"  I can't really argue with that most of the time.  I mean, isn't that what so much of parenting is about?  Teaching them to be self-sufficient?  It's taught me to have more patience.  And you definitely won't hear me complain that she wants to dress herself or help put groceries away or clean up the living room.  No sir-ee!

Last night we had Parents Night at her new preschool.  We were instructed on school policies and procedures, met our child's teacher, and volunteered to help with parties and provide art supplies for the class.  I was very excited that Eva got the teacher who we were hoping for.  Through a mutual friend, the teacher had already heard about Eva and actually requested that she have her in her class.  How great is that?!  I volunteered to help with the Thanksgiving party and provide the class with approximately a half ton of yellow playdoh that I will be making on Sunday.  I will also be providing the class with glitter.  (Hey, she asked for it!)

I was totally fine with this whole thing where Eva's determined to do things like grow up and start going to preschool next week.....right up until I got home from Parents Night and thought about the adorable classroom I had just been in with the little table and chair and toys and where I had met Eva's first teacher and filled out forms and volunteered for things.  And that's when it hit me that the toddler years were gone for good around here.  Cue the "I want another baby!" cycle.  Head, meet desk.

But then I looked over as my kiddo sat on the couch, looking so small as she played a game while wrapped up in a giant blanket.  I looked at my husband, tugged on his shirt, and asked if we couldn't keep her home another year.  She's so little!  Can I keep her a baby for just a little while longer?  I knew the answer.  I knew that she was going to love school and having so many other kids around to play with.  And besides, we've already made two tuition payments.

So today we'll go out and get her a lunchbox, along with some glitter and the makings for that playdoh.  And then for the rest of the weekend I'll try to remember that my little girl is still only 3 years old.

She's going to be doing this for real before we know it, isn't she?

Ok, well, maybe we have a little time.  (She's perfecting her dinosaur roar here, by the way.)

Honesty Is The Best Policy. Right?!

When we're little we're taught that we should always tell the truth.  Always, always, always tell the truth.  So when exactly does that change?

I suppose that it starts with teenage politics.  Try to be who you think other people want you to be, keep your real thoughts to yourself, and maybe people will like you.  We muddle through high school hoping that the drama and game playing end there, except that it doesn't.  It carries right on out into adulthood.  And you know what?  It's such crap.

Why is it that so many people, primarily (but not limited to) women in my experience, are so threatened by direct communication of the truth?  I'm not talking about using it to be mean or nasty or anything like that, but just being honest about how they feel about something.

In the past several months I've had a couple of experiences that left me shaking my head.  I was invited to events and declined.  I was honest.  I explained where I was with things in my life relating to the event and why I wouldn't be attending.  I'm guessing that it didn't go over well since it was met with silence.

I've gotten to a place in my life where I don't feel obligated to do things that I don't want to do or go places where I'd rather not be.  Life's too short, and I'd like to enjoy my time here.  The past couple months have been some of the hardest of my life.  I only have so much energy, and I chose to reserve that for the things that matter the most to me.

Anyone who truly knows me understands my intentions and who I really am as a person.  I'm a chick who likes sports, especially those of the Pittsburgh variety.  And working out too.  I also think my kid is pretty neat.  I communicate through heavy use of Golden Girls and Friends references and deal a great bit in sarcasm.  As mentioned previously, I also dig direct communication- game playing drives me batty.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.

I'm not for everyone, and I'm ok with that.  And that's the truth.

"I wanna go FAST!"

So we've been kinda busy around here lately.  It seems like we've been here, there, and everywhere in the past few weeks.  Last weekend we went to my parents' house and took Eva to Idlewild.  She absolutely loved the place and it's clear that we'll be taking her back, hopefully on a yearly basis.  We must have picked the perfect day to make the trip, because while there were a decent number of people there, it wasn't an overwhelming crowd.  With the exception of the trolley ride through the Neighborhood of Make Believe, the only time Eva spent in line was to wait for the next batch of riders to be let through.

Storybook Forest.  I still remember a class trip to this place, maybe in the 1st grade?  I loved it and I was so excited for Eva to experience it.  She really couldn't have cared much less about it.  Maybe she's just not familiar enough.....or maybe she'd just rather be tossed about on crazy rides.  Could do either way.  Also, while she looooves mascot types?  She hid from Mother Goose like she was threatening to administer a shot.  She had her face firmly planted in the back of my knee and had no intention of ungluing herself until that lady was safely out of sight.

I think she fully expected that a day at school was about to begin.  She was also mesmerized by the weird kid in the funny hat sitting in the corner.

Raggedy Ann!

Little girl, BIG chair.

Getting on her very 1st ride.  I was VERY nervous.  (Yes, there was a wardrobe change.  Don't ask.)

All those nerves for nothing.  She loved it.

This one didn't go quite so well.  Apparently, rides that just go around in circles at a high rate of speed are good.  Those that go up in the air?  Baaaaaad.  She was NOT a fan.

See what I mean?  Check out all that free space around them where they're not shoulder to shoulder with other people!  (That's somewhat of a novelty for us.)  Daddy and daughter en route to Raccoon Lagoon.

One of Grandpa's nicknames for her.

The 1st ride she's ever gone on all by herself.

This is where I feel the need to threaten certain family members that a Harley had been not find its way into her possession at the time of her 16th birthday.  You know who you are. 

Anyone recognize this place?  (For all of you heathens out there, this is King Friday's castle.)  The entire Neighborhood of Make Believe was there.  Eva was absolutely terrified of King Friday.  Each residence featured an animatronic version of its corresponding character.  On a side note, before going on this ride, I had never before noticed the western Pennsylvania accent on many of those characters.  Love it.

There's something that I just love about this picture.

This one was her favorite.  Apparently she loves nothing more than to be spun around violently in a circle.  I see a lot more of these rides in their futures.

We really had a good time and it was nice that my parents were able to come along and watch as Eva flitted around from one ride to the next.  The bonus here was that I had the opportunity to show Eva a place that I enjoyed as a child AND know that she loves it too.  It was a fun family trip and we're looking forward to going again next year, maybe with her aunts and cousin in tow!

*And no, this post was not sponsored in any way.